Do Your Pets Make You More Courageous?
Also: people helping pets, a new book unveiled, an animal rescuer retreat
Courage, a quality of mind or spirt that enables one to persevere in the face of risk, has been equated to a muscle that strengthens with practice. Have a pet? Caring for one provides many opportunities to exercise that muscle. Whether it's the bravery required to open your heart after devastating loss, the determination to face your deepest fears, or the strength to make impossible decisions, an animal companion can help you become a more courageous version of yourself. The three stories that follow reveal how pets—through their presence, their needs, and even their departures—can unlock reservoirs of resilience within us. They help us to act with love despite fear.
Robin Cangie is a fiction writer and marketing coach whose newsletters are veritable “rabbit holes” where one can spend hours unearthing useful gems. But that’s not how I met Robin. I learned of those things after I was introduced to her feline-focused Meowstack—a cat-a-week newsletter. Witty and irreverent and told from the perspective of each fluffy subject, her stories connect readers via their pets. Robin shared with me that it was her beloved cats who were the source of her courage.
A few months ago, my husband and I said good-bye to our two beloved 16-year-old kitties Cuppy and Stella. We'd had them since they were kittens, and after many years of friendship, we knew it was time. Letting them go broke my heart, but I also know it was the courageous, loving choice. In the days and weeks that followed, I found new courage and resilience in the knowledge that I could experience loss, survive, and keep my heart open for two new kitties that we recently adopted. I'll always miss Cuppy and Stella, and I'll always be grateful for their friendship and the lessons they continue to teach me even now.
Zazie Todd, PhD, is the writer to know if you have a fearful pet. She’s dedicated her profession to researching and advocating for solutions to help people and the animals they love. She is the author of the Companion Animal Psychology newsletter and Wag: The Science of Making Your Dog Happy; and Purr:The Science of Making Your Cat Happy. Launching June 10 is Bark! The Science of Helping Your Anxious, Fearful, or Reactive Dog. It may be hard to believe, but this superhero of animal behavior science was once afraid of dogs.
As a kid, I wasn’t sure about dogs. I had some bad experiences as a child and it felt like they had scarred me for life, even though I was never actually bitten .I knew to stand still if I was scared and wait for an adult to help, but it was hard to imagine a dog as a friend when they had such big teeth. Then a schoolmate got a chocolate Labrador. She was gentle and friendly and didn’t seem like a threat. She opened a little chink in my armor. But still I would go weak at the knees with fear when I saw an unknown dog. It wasn’t until I was a young adult that I was able to finally do something about this. Then, at last, I learned to love dogs—but it took courage to do so.
I remember deciding to go for a walk on my own in a local park and ignore all the off-leash dogs. It turned out most of them ignored me, so I was able to repeat the experience many times until I felt confident going there. In the process, by watching dogs out of the corner of my eye, I began to feel like I could tell if they were friendly or fearful. As a kid, it had never occurred to me that a dog might be afraid. Now, I felt like I understood them better.
All of a sudden, I was smitten with dogs. And while my particular experience might be unusual, fear of dogs is common in children, affecting 37% of them according to Dogs Trust. And many people, as adults, are still scared of things like mice, snakes, and spiders. One of the problems I faced was that people did not take my fear of dogs seriously because it seemed unreasonable to them.
How funny that this has come full circle and now I advocate for fearful dogs, whose guardians often do not take their fear seriously and blame the dog for being disobedient instead of doing something to help them. But I think it takes courage to help a fearful dog, because it means stepping outside of those outdated cultural ideas about being dominant and instead, recognizing what the dog needs. From that courage comes a wonderful thing—a beautiful relationship with a canine friend who feels safe in your presence.
I visit Amber Groomes’s weekly newsletter, Dr. Amber Writes, for the nuggets of wisdom she imparts while transforming complex behavioral science into easily digestible solutions for change. Of late, she’s been guiding readers through deep dives into a chosen book, providing a thinker’s guide to topics presented, then engaging authors and readers in live discussions. My question about how her pets have made her more courageous gave her pause, until clarity seeped in.
At first, it was not clear to me how my pets have helped me to be more courageous. I think I have felt most courageous when in the position of helping a beloved pet at the end of their life. When we adopt a young animal, we are not usually thinking about what it will be like to one day say goodbye.
I adopted Buster from the Humane Society in Austin, Tx in 2011. I was living alone and this would be the first time I was the sole caretaker of a dog. I went to the shelter with a certain type of dog in mind, but it was a doofy, slightly bug-eyed terrier mix who stole my heart. Unfortunately, he was sick with heartworm and would require a painful, arduous, and pricey treatment regimen. Thankfully, a local nonprofit would provide the treatment at a steep discount. I believe that going through the treatment together helped us forge a special bond right from the start. The treatment was successful and Buster was my constant companion for 12 years. We drove half away across the country together twice and lived in 4 different states. He was by my side as I got married and welcomed two children, who became his best buddies.
In 2023, Buster’s kidneys started to fail. Treatment may have extended his life, but likely due to his heartworm treatment, he was terrified of the veterinarian’s office. Every visit felt traumatic for him. I had to decide: pursue a treatment plan that would cause Buster a lot of fear and discomfort, in order to have him around longer? Or forgo treatment and keep him comfortable until it was time to let go? Of course, it was really no choice at all. But if you have been in that situation, then you know the pressure and fear of believing you can make the wrong decision. I think making those impossible decisions for our pets, and being beside them until the end, is courageous.
WHAT CAN 20 VOLUNTEERS ACCOMPLISH IN A WEEKEND?
Leech Lake Legacy is a non-profit animal welfare organization that has built a pipeline of partnerships to help pets and the people who love them. Last weekend, three veterinarians, three vet technicians, and six support staff volunteered their time to provide low-cost wellness exams, laboratory services, vaccinations, and toe nail clips to 120 pets of people living on a reservation in northern Minnesota where accessibility to veterinary services is severely limited. Eight additional volunteers distributed food and pet supplies, managed the care of animals during the weekend. On Sunday, they loaded them onto transport vans. Two drivers delivered the surrendered pets to partner shelters and rescues who will care for them through adoption. Next month, Leech Lake Legacy volunteers will do it all again. Got time? Volunteer for Leech Lake Legacy. Got money? Donate. Love dogs and cats? Share the link, so others can help.
MOM LOVES THE DOGS MORE
I recently announced that my debut book, Mom Loves the Dogs More: A Memoir of Family Rescue, will launch September 25, 2025. The book chronicles my family’s journey through a decade of animal rescue while raising teens with mental health challenges. I didn’t set out to write that particular book. I had intended, instead, to inspire readers to foster. While fostering dogs is fascinating to many, parenting teens with ADHD and anxiety proved to be of equal interest to my early readers. Much gratitude goes to those brave souls who shared their honest feedback and desire for more of my introspection.
A RECHARGE RETREAT FOR RESCUERS
I flew from Minneapolis, Minnesota (USA) to northern Florida to carpool with a friend to southern Georgia (USA). The goal – to help execute a one-day retreat for animal shelter workers, rescuers, animal control officers, community leaders, change makers, and dog lovers. Why? The crisis in shelters is boiling over. Euthanasia rates are climbing. Resources are thinning. Adoptions are slowing. The view may be dire, but we know solutions exist. We are hosting the retreat Stronger Together to find solutions together. Got time? Volunteer as a shelter liaison, connecting the needs of a shelter with the retreat sponsor Who Will Let The Dogs Out (WWLDO). Got money? Donate to WWLDO or a local shelter, rescue, or animal control facility. Love dogs and cats? Share this post to help others connect with these organizations doing good work.
A VERY POPULAR POST
Is Your Pet the Reason You Get Up in the Morning? had people talking.
Love this! I understand how Dr. Amber felt because of my cat, Merlin. He hated the vet with a passion and was a tough patient. Deep inside, I knew his death was coming. I choose to let him have the dignity of staying at home, giving him lots of love and attention. Instead of constant vet visits.
So often people will say “I can’t get another dog, it was too painful when I lost Fluffy, I can’t go through that again.” I don’t understand that, honestly. Which is harder, seeing your beloved pet through to a compassionate end, or living without one? For me, it’s no contest. My biggest fear about aging? After falling, of course. Getting too old to be able to have a dog.